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Hospice Nurse Julie Shares: 'It's Time for The Talk' About End of Life

New York Times bestselling author and social media death educator Hospice Nurse Julie shares five tips on how to begin end-of-life conversations.

Hospice Nurse Julie, aka Julie McFadden, is a licensed hospice nurse who uses social media to share insights about death, dying, and hospice. In the last few years, she’s gained 1.6 million followers on TikTok and hundreds of thousands more on her other social channels including YouTube, Instagram, and Facebook. Her book, “Nothing to Fear” is a New York Times bestseller and she’s become a frequent expert in dozens of media articles, podcasts, and conferences.

Nurse Julie believes that death education will help alleviate fear and believes “death is not a bad word.” “The more we know about it, the more we are prepared for it, the better we live, the more peaceful we die,” she explains on her popular YouTube channel.

“Helping others understand the dying process before they are going through it is truly my life’s passion. After spending many years in the ICU and hospice where I faced death nearly daily, I’ve seen how critical it is for families to discuss these topics sooner rather than later,” she said. 

And a part of that process is also making plans for what happens to all of us.

Recently, we partnered with Nurse Julie to have her share her advice on the best ways to begin end-of-life conversations.

Nurse Julie shared these five tips for beginning these important conversations. You can find her whole post on her Instagram page.

1. Set the Stage

Don't just bring it up as you're out and about. If possible, set a time and place and make it comfortable.  

2. Ask for Help

Frame the conversation as being “helpful” for you. For example, say, “Mom, can you help with something? I know you're doing OK right now, but in the future, if something were to happen, I'd like to get plans in place. These plans will make it easier for me to know how to best care for you.  

3. Make and Share Your Own Plan

If we want others to plan, start with ourselves, A great way to start the conversation is sharing your plan and what's important to you.

4. Bring in the Experts

Consider bringing in experts, people like an estate planner or a funeral advisor. There are a lot of people who are ready to help. Even if you don’t think you have an estate, you do.

5. Listen and Respect

Lastly, once the conversation is started, there are a myriad of things to talk about. Consider funeral home planning, advance directives, obituary writing and always remember to LISTEN and respect what your loved one wants. 

These conversations can be hard, and messy, and we might not do them “perfectly” and that’s OK. Just by starting the conversation, you let your loved ones know that you are open for the conversation when they are.

More Information

You can learn more about Nurse Julie in our article Hospice Nurse Takes to TikTok to Talk Openly About Death and at her website. You can find more information on planning on Afterall.

It Feels Good to Have a Plan.

While this may be your first time talking about end-of-life planning, we’ve guided thousands of families through this process. Fill out the form below, and our caring team will be in touch to schedule your free, no-obligation planning session.

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