What Happens at a Traditional Funeral?

If you’ve never attended a funeral before, or if it’s been a while, the whole thing can feel a bit intimidating. Funerals are often complicated, both logistically and emotionally. And if we’re lucky, they’re rare enough that we never really get used to them.

In this article, we’ll go over what you can expect, whether you’re planning a traditional funeral, thinking about your own funeral in advance, or preparing to attend a funeral service. You’ll find out what a traditional funeral entails and how you should prepare for the day.

Key Elements of a Traditional Funeral

While funerals can vary significantly from simple to elaborate and religious to secular, there are a few basic components that generally take place. In addition to these basic parts, a family may also choose a visitation before the funeral. Some of the gatherings will be guided by the religion and culture of the family or the person being honored. For example, a Catholic funeral will follow the elements of a Catholic Mass. A Jewish funeral will likely have prayers in Hebrew. However, the following rough outline will give you a general idea of the elements of a ceremony and the order in which they usually take place.

When planning your own funeral or one for someone you love, a traditional funeral is considered a “full-service” funeral, meaning that you will have the support of a funeral home to plan a formal service, transport the body to the funeral site and cemetery, and manage the burial, entombment, or cremation of the remains. There are many ways to have a funeral, so be sure to consider which elements are important to you. While a traditional funeral may be more costly than simpler goodbyes, it can be a priceless healing time for many families.

One note: In the funeral industry, we use the word funeral to mean a ceremony with a body present, while a celebration without a body is called a memorial or a celebration of life.

Traditional Funeral Order of Events

A traditional ceremony will generally follow this format:

• A musical prelude as guests arrive
• Introduction or words of welcome (from a family member, clergy, or celebrant)
• Prayers, poems, readings, or scriptures (depending on the religious nature of the event)
• Musical selections (hymns or popular music, sometimes performed by family or friends)
• Eulogy or tributes (may begin with a formal eulogy and then open to informal stories)
• Thank you and information about additional events (if there is a gathering afterward like a committal or reception)
• Viewing (for those who choose an open casket, it may happen at the end of a service)
• Closing statement, announcements, if religious, a prayer, or benediction
• Closing music

Other Funeral Traditions to Be Aware Of

• There are often slideshows or videos of the person being remembered and photos displayed on easels in the room where the ceremony is taking place or at tables at the reception.
• There is often a guest book to sign and leave your condolences and memories.
• There are usually flowers at the funeral, but bringing your own (unless requested) is not recommended.

Committal Services and Receptions in Funeral Traditions

Committal Service

A traditional funeral will often be accompanied by a committal service. Usually, a smaller family group (normally family-only) will attend a burial at a cemetery, scattering, or interment.

Reception

After the funeral or committal, family and friends are usually invited to a reception. There will be food and drink (sometimes alcoholic beverages, but not always), and the opportunity to share stories, tears, and laughter.

Wake

In the Irish tradition, a “wake” is held to honor the deceased and includes storytelling, music, and drinking.

Where Funerals and Receptions Are Held

A funeral can be held at a funeral home, a place of worship like a church, synagogue, or mosque, or a rented location like a park, restaurant, or community center. Your local funeral provider can help you consider ideas for an appropriate location that best represents your loved one. In a recent survey, the National Funeral Directors Association found that more than half of the respondents had attended a funeral at a nontraditional location like an outdoor setting, personal residence, or public area.

How to Prepare for a Funeral

When you attend a funeral, be sure to arrive a little early. When you enter (quietly), pick up a program if there is one. Keep your voice low and soft if you speak with other guests. If you are not a family member, avoid the first two rows. You can find more funeral etiquette advice here. We also have advice about how to support the family after the loss.

Preplanning Your Own Traditional Funeral

When a family is grieving, creating a traditional funeral service can be a daunting task. Working with a local funeral professional can be a huge help, but by planning ahead, you can make things even smoother for them and your family.

By taking some time long before it is needed, you can write down a few songs and readings you might like at a funeral for yourself. It can help you create a goodbye that truly matches your wishes.