How to Write a Eulogy: Tips and Examples

When someone close to us passes away, being asked to give a eulogy is an honor and a challenge. A eulogy is more than just a speech; it is a heartfelt tribute that encapsulates the essence of a person’s life, personality, and the memories they leave behind. Whether formal or lighthearted, a eulogy celebrates and shares who they were with those who loved them. Here’s how to craft and confidently deliver a thoughtful, authentic eulogy.

What Is a Eulogy?

A eulogy is a speech or writing delivered at a memorial service that tells the story of someone who has passed away. While eulogies often highlight significant milestones, they should go beyond simple facts and dates. Instead, they paint a picture of the individual’s character, quirks, passions, and the impact they made on others.

Best Practices for How Long a Eulogy Should Be

A eulogy should take about five to ten minutes to deliver. This translates into 750 to 1,000 words. Remember, a eulogy is a tribute to a life, not a complete biography. To keep it impactful, choose two or three main themes or stories encapsulating the essence of the person you are honoring.

What to Include in a Eulogy

A well-rounded eulogy usually covers these elements:

Introduction: Start by introducing yourself and your connection to the individual. Set the tone with a quote, a short poem, or a fond memory that reflects the person’s spirit.

Key Facts: Share important dates, family details, career achievements, and educational background. This provides context for listeners who may not know these details.

Anecdotes: Tell stories that showcase their personality, values, and passions. Whether they were known for their kindness, sense of humor, or love of a particular hobby, these stories make the eulogy personal and relatable.

Character Traits: Talk about what made the person unique. Was it their unwavering optimism? Their infectious laugh? Create a vivid image in the audience’s mind.

Closing: End with a message of gratitude or a heartfelt note about how the individual will be remembered. You may conclude with a favorite saying of theirs or a personal goodbye if appropriate.

Eulogy Examples

These eulogies stand out for their sincerity, deep personal connection, and how they captured the essence of the individuals they honored.

Steve Jobs' Eulogy by Mona Simpson: In her moving eulogy for her brother, Mona Simpson spoke about the personal side of Steve Jobs that many did not see. Her speech highlighted his dedication to his work, love for his family, and unique approach to life. The eulogy was heartfelt and candid, showing the human side of an iconic figure.

Ted Kennedy’s Eulogy for Robert F. Kennedy: Senator Ted Kennedy’s tribute to his brother, Robert F. Kennedy, is remembered for its poignant opening line, “My brother need not be idealized, or enlarged in death beyond what he was in life.” His words celebrated Robert’s passion for justice, compassion, and dedication to his country, leaving an enduring impression of his legacy.

Barack Obama’s Eulogy for John Lewis: Former President Barack Obama delivered a powerful and inspiring eulogy for civil rights leader John Lewis. He paid tribute to Lewis’s unwavering commitment to justice and equality and emphasized the lasting impact of his legacy. Obama’s words were reflective and hopeful, urging others to continue Lewis's fight for civil rights.

Earl Spencer’s Eulogy for Princess Diana: Earl Spencer, Diana’s brother, gave an emotional eulogy at her funeral that resonated with millions. He spoke about her compassion, struggles, and dedication to her sons. The eulogy was notable for its candid acknowledgment of her challenges and its criticism of the media’s treatment of her.

How to Prepare Your Eulogy Speech

Delivering a eulogy can feel overwhelming, especially while navigating your grief. Here are some steps to help you prepare:

Write It Out

Don’t rely on improvisation. Writing your speech ensures that your thoughts are organized and clear.

Practice Reading Aloud

Practicing will help you get comfortable with the flow and timing of your speech. It also allows you to adjust words or phrases that may feel awkward when speaking.

Consider Your Audience

Keep in mind who will be in attendance and adjust the tone accordingly. While humor is welcome, be mindful of the balance between lighthearted stories and moments of reflection.

Pause for Emotion 

Speaking about a loved one can bring up strong emotions. Practice pausing naturally to compose yourself without feeling rushed.

Visualize Support

Picture the faces of those who are there to support you. This can help calm nerves and remind you that your words are a shared tribute.

Tips for Delivering Your Eulogy

Delivering a eulogy is an emotional and challenging task, especially when facing the grief of loss. Speaking in public can feel daunting, but with some preparation and reassurance, you can share your heartfelt tribute with confidence. Here are some essential tips to help you deliver your eulogy:

Speak Slowly and Clearly

Nerves can cause us to speed up. Take your time and speak at a measured pace to ensure everyone can hear and absorb your words.

Make Eye Contact

Glancing up at the audience when possible creates connection and emphasizes sincerity.

Hold a Copy of Your Speech

Having a printed copy helps you stay on track and provides reassurance.

More Helpful Hints to Write and Deliver an Effective Eulogy 

Try This

Use Stories That Connect — Share anecdotes that resonate with the audience. Stories that reflect shared experiences or values help people feel closer to the deceased.

Add a Personal Touch — Mention the little things, like how they always sang off-key during car rides or had a daily ritual of watering their garden at dawn.

Avoid That

Avoid Lengthy Chronologies — Listing every major life event can feel impersonal. Stick to meaningful highlights.

Don’t Overlook Humor — While a eulogy is a tribute, it doesn’t need to be devoid of humor. A well-placed light moment can remind everyone of the joy that person brought into their lives.

Avoid Unpreparedness — Even if you think you know what you want to say, reading and rehearsing your speech is crucial in delivering it smoothly.

Giving a eulogy is a significant responsibility that allows you to offer comfort and connection to others while sharing in the collective remembrance of a loved one. A eulogy is a written and spoken speech about a person's life. Some of the elements can also work in an obituary. You can write, post, and share a free obituary on Afterall.