12 Must-Read Books on Grief and Loss Recommended by Funeral Directors
Grief and loss can feel isolating, but the right book can offer comfort, perspective, and understanding. We’ve gathered recommendations from funeral directors and professionals on the best books about grief, dying, and loss. Whether you’re navigating grief or want to support someone in mourning, these resources may help you find hope and healing.
1. Being Mortal by Atul Gawande, M.D.
Recommended for: Enhancing end-of-life quality and decision-making.
Why Read It: Written by a surgeon, Being Mortal explores how the medical community often prioritizes prolonging life over enhancing its quality. Dr. Gawande explores the cultural and medical challenges of confronting mortality through personal anecdotes and insightful research. Readers are encouraged to reflect on how they can ensure dignity, compassion, and fulfillment during the final stages of life.
2. When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi, M.D.
Recommended for: Gaining perspective on life through the lens of terminal illness
Why Read It: This poignant memoir, written by a young neurosurgeon facing stage IV lung cancer, offers a deeply emotional journey through the process of confronting mortality. In When Breath Becomes Air, Kalanithi reflects on his life as both a doctor and a patient, grappling with the transition from saving lives to facing his own death. His beautiful narrative invites readers to think about life’s meaning and what it means to live in the face of death.
3. Gone From My Sight: The Dying Experience by Barbara Karnes, RN
Recommended for: Caregivers and family members of those at the end of life.
Why Read It: This concise, easy-to-read booklet from Karnes, considered a hospice pioneer, is an invaluable resource for those caring for someone nearing death. Gone From My Sight outlines the physical and emotional changes in the dying process, offering straightforward guidance on what to expect. This famous “little blue book” provides families with a sense of peace and understanding, helping them navigate this challenging and emotional time.
4. How We Die: Reflections on Life’s Final Chapter by Sherwin B. Nuland, M.D.
Recommended for: Anyone curious about the biological realities of death and dying.
Why Read It: In How We Die, Dr. Nuland demystifies what happens within the body during the dying process, addressing everything from heart disease to Alzheimer's, cancer, and more. With a mix of medical insight and personal stories, Nuland illuminates the often misunderstood details of death, helping readers come to terms with its inevitability. While grounded in science, this National Book Award bestseller offers a compassionate perspective on life’s final chapter.
5. On Death and Dying by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D.
Recommended for: Those looking to understand the emotional journey of dying.
Why Read It: On Death and Dying is where the famous five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—were first introduced. Kubler-Ross's seminal work draws from her research with terminally ill patients, offering insight into how people emotionally process their impending death. Though experts have clarified Kubler-Ross's intentions in recent years, this foundational book remains essential for caregivers and professionals working with those facing life-limiting illnesses.
6. No Time for Goodbyes: Coping with Sorrow, Anger, and Injustice After a Tragic Death by Janice Harris Lord
Recommended for: Anyone dealing with accidental death, suicide, or homicide.
Why Read It: Sudden or tragic death—whether through accidents, negligence, or violence—can bring intense and complicated grief. No Time for Goodbyes addresses the unique sorrow, anger, and confusion that often accompany such losses. In addition to emotional support, the book offers practical guidance on dealing with legal and financial issues that may arise. It’s an excellent resource for families managing grief after a sudden death.
7. Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief by Martha Whitmore Hickman
Recommended for: Those looking for small doses of daily encouragement.
Why Read It: For those in the midst of grief, healing can often feel overwhelming. Healing After Loss offers small, manageable steps toward recovery with daily meditations that inspire hope and healing. Each day includes an inspirational quote, a reflection from the author, and an opportunity for readers to find meaning in their personal journey. An accompanying journal is also available for those wishing to write down their thoughts.
8. Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief by Joanne Cacciatore, Ph.D.
Recommended for: Individuals experiencing profound loss.
Why Read It: Dr. Cacciatore, a grief counselor and researcher, brings her personal and professional experience to this heartfelt and validating book. Bearing the Unbearable explores the raw, overwhelming emotions of grief, helping readers understand that there is no wrong way to grieve. The book balances heartbreak with hope, offering reassurance that, while grief can feel all-consuming, healing is possible.
9. The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
Recommended for: Those grieving the loss of a spouse or partner.
Why Read It: Joan Didion’s classic memoir, The Year of Magical Thinking, memoir chronicles the year following her husband's sudden death, blending raw emotion with literary elegance. As she reflects on her grief, Didion provides insights into the unpredictability of loss and the strange, often surreal ways it can manifest. This National Book Award selection reminds us that healing is a slow, frequently non-linear process.
10. Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief by David Kessler
Recommended for: Those searching for ways to honor their loss by finding deeper meaning in life.
Why Read It: Building on his work with Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, David Kessler introduces a sixth stage to the grieving process: Finding Meaning. After the loss of his son, Kessler explores how we can transform our grief into something that brings purpose and understanding to our lives. His empathetic writing guides readers to uncover hope in even the darkest moments.
11. Grief One Day at a Time: 365 Meditations to Help You Heal After Loss by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.
Recommended for: Those needing consistent, daily reflections during their grief process.
Why Read It: In Grief One Day at a Time, Dr. Wolfelt, a renowned grief counselor, offers brief but powerful meditations for every day of the year. Each meditation is designed to provide comfort, strength, and small doses of healing. The book serves as a daily companion for those grieving, helping them to take life—and their recovery—one day at a time.
12. The Beauty of What Remains by Steve Leder
Recommended for: Anyone finding beauty and purpose in life after loss.
Why Read It: Rabbi Steve Leder’s experience with personal grief following his father's death lends a deeply moving perspective to this book. Leder offers a message of hope, explaining how loss can bring newfound beauty and meaning to life. Through personal anecdotes and spiritual reflections, The Beauty of What Remains, reminds readers that while grief is painful, it can also make life more precious.
Meet the Experts
We extend our thanks to the funeral directors and professionals who provided these recommendations:
- Elisha M. Elliott Community Outreach Director, McGuinness Funeral Home
- Robert T. "Bob" Roche CFSP Licensed Funeral Director, Hiers-Baxley Funeral Services
- Kenneth J. Carlson-McLagan, Licensed Funeral Director & Regional Leader, Foundation Partners Group
More Helpful Resources
Along with these helpful book recommendations, families dealing with loss or looking to plan ahead can turn to Afterall for support. Whether you're grieving or want guidance on preplanning for yourself or a loved one, Afterall is here to connect you with caring, trusted funeral homes and services across the country, making a difficult time a little easier. Please check our Coping with Loss resources. You can also sign up for our free monthly newsletter.