Grieving His Parents, Musician Starts Second Line Jazz Band

How Grief Sparked a New Musical Journey

When Tim Halbur lost both his parents in the devastating Tubbs Fire in Santa Rosa, California, he gained a new awareness of grief he likens to the character’s awakening experiences in the movie, “The Matrix.” “I see everything more clearly now,” he explained. 

Halbur says his parents, who were asleep at the time of the blaze, were some of the first victims of climate change, and the loss was understandably painful.

But he also saw how half the people he knew didn’t know how to react to his grief. “I went through a real period of pain and realized how much people don’t know how to process it.” He felt like for those people, he had to hold their hand, rather than them offering support to him.

“It just compounded for me how poorly we as a culture manage grief and the process of moving on,” he told Afterall.

From his experience with the death of his parents, Halbur saw the emotional benefits of funerals and other memorial rituals and put together a group of musicians he named the St. Cecilia Band. Cecilia is the patron saint of music, he explained.

Finding Healing Through Funeral Music Traditions

“Music is an important part of celebration and a funeral in a way is a celebration even as it’s sad and a loss,” he said.

He tapped into the Portland, Oregon, traditional jazz community and gathered a couple dozen musicians who could participate when called upon. The members will come in and out as needed, but Halbur will always be the drummer and leader. He’s a bass and keyboard player, but as neither is required for this kind of band, he chose the parade drum.

What is a Second Line Jazz Band?

The Second Line or Jazz Funeral tradition began in New Orleans and is believed to have come from West African roots. It’s been practiced there since at least the 1800s. Halbur says the joyful aspect of the music is a recognition that though we grieve the loss of our loved ones, we can also celebrate their lives. “It’s a recognition that they’ve moved on. It’s both a looking back and a feeling that they’ve left the pain of the Earth and now they’re free … We want to celebrate who they were rather than stay in the sadness,” he said.

The Emotional Impact of Celebrating Life Through Music

Halbur feels that celebrating those we’ve lost is integral to the grieving process. He says he found joy in sharing stories about his parents after their death, “It was so healing to talk to people who knew my parents – to share old stories. You’ve lost that person, but that doesn’t mean you’ve lost that person inside of yourself. You can still tap into your experience with them and keep them alive in those memories.”

Celebrating Life Through Music

Halbur feels like he’s connected to grief after losing his parents, and he wants to share what he’s learned with others through his art. “Music is one of the most magical of arts because it’s pure emotion in a lot of ways. It’s invisible. People are less likely to be critical of it. I think it just feels like a really good way for me to reach out and help other people who are grieving.”

He says he hopes his band can help those moving through the grief process. He wants them to know that it gets better. “This is awful right now, but if you sit in it, and allow yourself to process it well, and if we can mark it in a way that’s significant and that brings you both sadness and joy, I think it is going to help you transition into understanding the world in a bigger, more painful, but more beautiful way.”

Learn how to choose songs for a memorial and find how music helps us when grieving in our article: A Soundtrack for Mourning: Music’s Power in Grief.