What Does a Pallbearer Do?

A pallbearer is a person who helps carry or escort a casket during a traditional funeral procession or burial service. The term pallbearer comes from the word “pall”, a heavy cloth once used to cover a casket. If a person carries a coffin covered with a pall, they're "bearing the pall." In the Middle Ages, pallbearers would hold the four corners of the pall while other men lifted the casket. 

Pallbearers play a crucial role in the funeral service as a public symbol of the loss. The pallbearer role is most commonly seen in Judeo-Christian funeral traditions. However, you do not have to choose a religious funeral to include this time-honored ceremony. You can also adapt the traditional role of carrying a casket into a celebration of life or an interment following cremation. 

What Are a Pallbearer’s Duties?

Pallbearers play a ceremonial and practical role in a funeral, escorting the casket with reverence and care. Most often, pallbearers participate in both the funeral service and the burial, under the guidance of the funeral director. While the duties may vary slightly depending on the type of service, here’s what a pallbearer can typically expect to do:

• Arrive early at the funeral home for instructions after the family has said their final goodbyes
• Help place the casket onto a church truck (a wheeled platform used for transport)
• Escort the casket into the venue for the service
• Carry the casket down the aisle during the funeral ceremony (if applicable)
• Load and unload the casket from the hearse for transportation
• Walk alongside or carry the casket to the gravesite
• Help position the casket at the grave (note: lowering it is usually handled by cemetery staff)

In addition to physical strength, pallbearers are expected to carry out their duties with dignity, presence, and calm. They should be comfortable walking in front of large groups, following instructions closely, and honoring the tone of the ceremony.

How To Pick a Pallbearer 

There are usually six to eight pallbearers in each funeral service. The number varies due to the size and weight of the casket and its occupant. Pallbearers consist of close family members and friends. However, in the Jewish tradition, they are not close family members. A pallbearer is chosen by the deceased in their end-of-life planning or by the family if no plan was made.

You’ll need to consider how much weight pallbearers need to carry and walk comfortably. Caskets can be large, heavy, and cumbersome. An eco or wicker casket may weigh 50-100 pounds while metal and wood caskets can weigh up to 250-300 pounds. 

If someone cannot lift the weight, consider making them honorary pallbearers. Honorary pallbearers offer symbolic support without carrying the casket. They may walk beside the procession or carry an item in tribute, like a photo, flowers, or a memory box. Their presence will still have a comforting effect.  

In some funerals, close family or friends may not feel prepared for this role. If no one is up for the task or physically able, they may opt for the funeral home to provide people to carry the casket. In this case, family members might invite honorary pallbearers or skip this tradition.  

Pallbearers are present to keep the casket safe and deliver it from the funeral service to its final resting spot. A pallbearer should be respectful and approach their role with dignity and grace. The best pallbearer is someone who can listen and take directions well. A good pallbearer knows how to remain calm and present amidst sorrow and grief.

Are Pallbearers Necessary at Every Funeral? 

Pallbearers are a traditional part of many funeral services, especially in Judeo-Christian customs. However, they are not required at every funeral.

In some cases – such as cremation services, memorial gatherings, or celebrations of life – there may be no casket involved, which means pallbearers aren't needed in the traditional sense. That said, many families still choose to include a symbolic version of this tradition.

For example:

• Loved ones may escort an urn to the interment or scattering site.
• Honorary pallbearers can walk in the procession or carry meaningful items like a photo, flag, or keepsake.
• In services without a physical casket, the pallbearer role can be adapted into a moment of tribute, allowing friends or family to participate in a meaningful way.

Ultimately, pallbearers aren’t necessary, but they remain a powerful symbol of support and remembrance. If the tradition resonates with your family, there are flexible and inclusive ways to incorporate it – no matter the type of service.

Tips for First-Time Pallbearers

If you have agreed to serve as a pallbearer for the first time, it is normal to feel nervous. Here are some tips to help prepare for your role at the funeral. 

1. Turn off or silence your phone. Don't check your phone throughout the service. It's a common habit most of us do without realizing, but as a pallbearer, it is best to shut your phone off. The family is counting on you to be respectful and present throughout the whole service. 
2. Be Present. Though grief may be present, do your best to be as present as possible. Asking you to serve in this role is the family conveying their trust in you. The gift of presence can make a huge impact on the emotional state of close family and friends.
3. Be punctual and stay late. Your role is to escort the casket from the beginning and at the end of the service. You must arrive on time. Most funeral directors prefer the pallbearers to arrive early for instruction. When the funeral ends, it is customary to attend the after-party to visit with the family and express your condolences.
4. Don't stress. The funeral director and family usually have things well-organized. They will instruct you on the flow of the service and when you are to carry the casket. Take a deep breath and trust that you have the physical and emotional strength to do this.
5. Walk slowly. Don't walk too fast with the casket or rush the process. Pay attention to the cadence of the other pallbearers.
6. Dress appropriately: Pallbearers traditionally wear modest, dark clothing. Men typically wear suits with ties, while women opt for dresses or pant suits with comfortable dress shoes (avoiding heels). Wearing standard funeral attire keeps the focus on the deceased. Active or retired military personnel may wear their uniform.

Reflecting on the Role of a Pallbearer

Serving as a pallbearer is a meaningful gesture of love, trust, and respect. It takes strength – both physical and emotional – to carry someone you care about to their final resting place.

After the service, take time to reflect. Allow yourself to feel whatever comes up. Grief is human – and so is the beauty of showing up for others.