What to Do with Your Loved One’s Ashes

Meaningful Options Beyond the Mantel

For many families, cremation offers flexibility, allowing time to decide on a final resting place. But as time passes, urns often remain on mantels or tucked in closets, leaving families uncertain about what to do next. If you’re facing this decision, you’re not alone.  

Cremation doesn’t eliminate the need for a final resting place — it expands your options. Unlike traditional burial, cremation allows you to choose multiple ways to honor a loved one. You don’t have to pick just one final resting place – you can scatter some, keep some in a keepsake or jewelry, place some in a cemetery, or even turn ashes into stones or diamonds.

And if you choose cremation for yourself one day, what will happen to your ashes? Will they sit on another shelf for years, waiting for someone else to decide?  

Fortunately, there are meaningful ways to handle cremated remains that honor your loved one while also providing peace of mind. Below are four practical solutions, each with pros and cons to consider.  

1. Is Scattering Their Ashes the Right Choice? 

Ash scattering can bring comfort and closeness, whether along a favorite beach, a peaceful mountain trail, or the open sea. Some families gather for a meaningful ceremony, while others find solace in a quiet, private moment of reflection. Scattering is also an affordable option as most locations do not require payment, except for some low-cost permits where needed.

Scattering may be meaningful if your loved one felt connected to nature or a specific place. If you’re worried about future regrets, consider keeping a small portion of the ashes. You may create a permanent memorial in a cremation niche, burial, keepsake urn, or cremation jewelry.

PROS

• Scattering ashes into nature may fulfill religious, personal, or spiritual beliefs.  
• If you scatter all the ashes, you do not need to care for a burial site or urn.
• Creates a memory of honoring your loved one together, particularly if you plan a concurrent life celebration or other memorial.  

CONS

• Some places require permits, and scattering on private property requires permission.  
• Once scattered, there is no more tangible connection to your loved one or permanent memorial.
• Some religions, like Roman Catholicism, want ashes kept in a permanent location.

2. Is Permanent Placement a Good Choice?

If your loved one valued tradition, a permanent resting place in a cemetery or columbarium can be a meaningful choice. Choosing a location close to family ensures that loved ones can visit and pay their respects. It also provides peace of mind, knowing their ashes will remain cared for without the concern of future relocation. 

Permanent memorials, whether in a cemetery, a columbarium, or a mausoleum, offer a lasting tribute to a loved one. Some families choose a shared niche or crypt to keep loved ones together.

PROS

• Offers a dedicated place for loved ones to visit.  
• Future generations know where their ancestors are memorialized and might create a family plot. 
• Cemeteries offer several options, including traditional burials, above-ground niches, or memorial gardens.  

CONS 

• Niche or burial spaces may come with ongoing fees.  
• Family members may feel responsible for visiting or caring for the site.  
• The cemetery or columbarium might not be conveniently located for all family members.  

3. Should You Choose Keepsake Urns or Cremation Jewelry?  

For those who don’t want to scatter or bury all the ashes, keepsake urns or cremation jewelry offer a way to keep a portion close while still making a plan for the remaining ashes. 

Keepsake urns are smaller than standard urns, allowing families to share ashes among loved ones or keep a small amount in a meaningful place. 

Cremation jewelry comes in many forms, including necklaces, bracelets, and rings. There are many styles of cremation jewelry, from simple to statement pieces.

PROS

• Allows for sharing with multiple family members
• Portable and personal
• Offers flexibility, as you can still scatter or select a permanent memorial 

CONS 

• Conflicting emotions about keeping ashes
• Delays inevitable decisions about ashes 
• Urns and cremation jewelry can be fragile

4. Are Smooth Stones from Ashes the Right Choice? 

Parting Stone is a company that offers an alternative to traditional ashes by solidifying cremated remains into smooth, stone-like forms. Through a specialized process, ashes become durable, touchable stones. Cremated ashes from an adult yield between 40 and 80 polished stones that are safe to hold or display. It is a meaningful and practical solution when several family members want a tangible connection to a loved one.

PROS

• Stones can be held, displayed, or shared among family members.  
• Unique tribute, as no two are the same
• Eliminates the emotional and physical discomfort of handling cremated remains. 

CONS 

• More expensive than keepsake urns or jewelry
• Unfamiliar concept and technology. 
• Still requires eventual decision about fate of stones. 

If you choose cremation, your final resting place doesn’t have to be just one place – it can be many. Do you want your remains scattered, memorialized, or transformed into something unique? Some more creative options include cremation tattoos, fireworks, and records. Thinking about these choices today can prevent your loved ones from making difficult decisions later. 

There is no single correct answer; only what best honors their memory while ensuring that future generations aren’t left with a closet full of urns and unanswered questions. Whether through scattering, permanent placement, keepsake urns, or alternative solutions like Parting Stone, a meaningful resting place provides comfort, closure, and peace of mind.