Finding Balance: Caregivers Need Self Care, Too

Caring for elderly parents (spouse or any family member needing care) is no small feat. Each day brings a mix of responsibilities, emotional needs, and logistical demands that rarely let up. For many in this stage of life, caregiving can be incredibly complex, with other responsibilities, whether it’s work, grandchildren, or even adult children who may still live at home.

And while some men provide care to aging parents, the responsibility falls overwhelmingly on women. Over a year, the average U.S. woman aged 55 or older provides over five weeks’ worth of full-time unpaid care (35 hours per week, totaling 182 hours) to family and friends, including those in and outside her household.

Women in this age group make up:

• Over one-third (35.3%) of all unpaid elder care providers on any given day.
• One-fourth (25.6%) of all unpaid adult caregivers.
• Approximately eight percent of unpaid childcare providers.

In total, there are more than 53 million unpaid caregivers in the US, often “sandwiched” between aging parents and young adult children. 

The good news? There are ways to lighten this load. With some adjustments to routines, extra help, and a support system you can lean on, you can create more breathing room, prioritize self-care, and feel connected to the joy of being there for your loved ones. Here are suggestions to avoid caregiver burnout and resources to help with financial, legal, and practical manners.

It’s Not Selfish to Prioritize Self-Care

It’s easy to push your own needs aside when so many people depend on you. But here’s the truth: running on empty makes it harder to care for anyone. Try carving out small, daily rituals that help you recharge, whether a 10-minute morning stretch, a calming walk, or a quiet cup of coffee before the day’s demands set in. 

Look into respite care services in your area for more substantial breaks. These services provide temporary caregiving for elderly adults, offering you a well-deserved rest. Many local agencies and nonprofits, like the National Respite Network, can help you locate nearby options. Adult daycare services are also a popular option for giving yourself a regular block of downtime.

Share the Load: Reach Out for Family Support

When caregiving falls entirely on one person, the weight of responsibility can become overwhelming. Reach out to family members, even if they can only lend a hand with certain tasks. If you have adult children, close friends, or other family nearby, ask if they could help with grocery shopping, meals, or assisting your elderly parent with small tasks around the house. 

Setting up a family meeting can help ensure that everyone contributes in a way that aligns with their time and abilities. This relieves your workload, strengthens family bonds, and allows others to connect more closely with your parent(s).

Delegate or Outsource Where Possible

If household chores and meal preparation take up too much time, explore options for outside help. It could mean hiring a cleaning service for a couple of hours a week or ordering meal kits to simplify dinner prep. Certain apps, like TaskRabbit for errands or Instacart for groceries, can also help you reclaim time and energy affordably.

For larger caregiving needs, consider hiring part-time in-home caregivers to assist with tasks like bathing, dressing, or physical therapy exercises. Many families find assistance through online resources such as Care.com or Visiting Angels, which offer trained professionals who can come into the home on a flexible schedule.

Build a Network of Support

Isolation is common among caregivers, but building a support network can make the experience less overwhelming. Connect with other caregivers, either in person or through online communities, where you can share advice, vent, or simply be understood. AARP has an active forum for caregivers, and support groups like The Family Caregiver Alliance focus on practical solutions for daily caregiving challenges. You can also find support on social media, too. 

Locally, community centers, churches, or caregiving organizations often host groups where you can share experiences and gather advice. Knowing there’s a network to lean on can make the load feel a little lighter.

Set Boundaries with Compassion

One of the hardest parts of caregiving is feeling that every request or need is urgent. But it’s okay to set boundaries and say “no” when needed. Setting compassionate limits could mean designating certain times of the day as “off-limits” for requests or gently postponing tasks when they aren’t immediate needs. By doing this, you’re helping yourself stay resilient and present in your caregiving.

When setting boundaries, use language that reflects care. For example, you might say, “I want to be able to give my full attention, but I’ll need a couple of hours today to recharge.” This reassures loved ones of your intentions and helps maintain those essential relationships.

Explore Financial and Legal Assistance

Managing finances can be challenging, especially if caregiving impacts your work. Look into financial assistance options for caregivers. Many government programs, such as Medicaid Home and Community-Based Services (HCBS), may provide compensation for in-home care. It may also help to consult a financial advisor with experience in family caregiving to see what benefits, tax credits, or savings strategies are available.

Consider working with a social worker or elder law attorney for legal complexities that may arise, especially around caregiving decisions. These professionals can provide valuable insights on healthcare, insurance, and caregiving rights, providing clarity on your rights and responsibilities.

Embrace Flexibility and Compassion for Yourself

As someone who manages multiple roles, you may often feel torn between everyone’s needs. Take comfort in knowing that you’re doing enough. Every act of care makes a difference, and giving yourself credit for all you accomplish is perfectly okay. On particularly challenging days, remember that caregiving is a journey, and progress — not perfection — is the goal.

Keep exploring resources to support you along the way. Sites like Eldercare Locator, a public service of the Administration for Community Living, can be a lifeline for caregivers. If your loved one’s condition worsens or changes with no curative possibilities, it might be time for hospice. No one wants to say goodbye, but relieving yourself from the stress of caring for a terminally ill loved one frees you to appreciate them for the time they have left. 

At Afterall, our compassionate professionals work with families and hospice providers to bring certainty during life’s most uncertain moments. If there is anything we can do to help, please click here to search for a provider near you.